Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Community Building Vs. Community Destruction:

Community Building Vs. Community Destruction:

Trust me I know that our world needs balance to survive.  The poles of a magnet, Summer to Winter, Night to Day, the inevitable Yin to the Yang.  In Fact my very first tattoo includes the Yin and Yang to remind me of just that fact.  However, there is one polar opposite that I have never quite grasped the concept of.  That is the existence of people who spend all of their time and energy into destroying what they claim to love so greatly.

I am very proud of the fact that I have been involved in the Leather & Kink Lifestyle and Community for ten years now.  In Fact I devote a majority of my free time to promoting events within the Community, as well as working to try and harbor our growth within the community. We have a very strong foundation thanks to all of those that have come before us, and I greatly appreciate all of that groundwork that has been done.  I very much respect those that have come before me and spent their lives building the framework of what we have today.  However, it is my opinion that those of us that are here now can’t simply rest on our laurels and accept what we have today.  Our Community of today can be much better and much stronger, and my goal is to help take it one step closer to that place.  I devote countless hours into producing events that give people a safe place to come and explore who they are, teach classes using the “Each One, Teach One” philosophy, and just doing what I can to insure that we have a future.

One thing that has always baffled me is that there are those around us that are counterproductive to this effort.  There are those out there within our community that are doing the very polar opposite of what I am working so hard for.  There are those out there that will spend their time bad mouthing events to keep people from going to them, trash talking Leather establishments to keep them from getting new patronage, and sending vicious e-mails to the very people that work so hard to try and build their community.  I have even received e-mails and Social Media messages before questioning my integrity as well as that of my family and loved ones.  I have even had people go to events and show affiliates of my organization fake e-mails saying that one of the organizations that I am most proud of is going to be shut down, getting kicked out of our home establishment, and that we are no more.  Really? The ironic thing about these e-mails questioning my integrity is that they are always under a fake profile, with no pics or identifiable information to show who the sender is.  Hmmmmm makes you wonder doesn’t it?  Who is really the one with nothing to hide?  The one that is out there busting his hump to make sure that we have a future, or the one who is hiding behind the veil of a screen destroying brick by brick?

It is very frustrating to me to have to dodge these blows, but I’m going to keep doing it. I am a very strong man and I’m going to be the one standing at the end of all this.  I fully believe that Karma is just waiting for the right time to strike, and trust me she is getting plenty of ammunition.  The sad part about the situation though is there are plenty of people not as strong as I am.  It makes me wonder how many people before me have been attacked in this same manner and just thrown their hands up and said “SCREW IT”.  How many people have walked away from this world and decided that they didn’t need the strife?  How much better would we have been if we had those people’s positive energies around us still instead of the venom that is festering around the floor like a pool of toxic waste?

I say that it is time to bring those Light Sources back into our fold.  It is time for us to bring our Brothers and our Sisters back with us and stand together.  Let our Light shine brighter than any darkness that the others can muster, and we will be the ones still standing in the end.  I am a part of this community because I appreciate what it has done for me over the years.  I know that I am a better man because of what I have been able to learn from those that came before me, and I hope that one day someone can say they learned something from me too. 

I’m not going anywhere, I have been trained to have thick armor, and I am the one that is going to be standing when the dust settles.  I’ll be standing right alongside my Family, my Brothers, my Sisters, and my Friends. 

P.S. Don’t forget I’m also a Bull Terrier…. I’m playful and light hearted…. But, if you make the wrong step towards my family then my jaws are going to clamp down on you and won’t release until I hear a SNAP.


  1. Nitro,
    We appreciate all the hard work that you do for the community.

  2. I hear you. I think there are two factors that really drive the negative people. (1) Digital social media is the perfect two-edged sword – it cuts both ways. It brings lots of great boons (look at us communicating like this right here)… but it also makes it very easy to be rude. It’s not even usually people posting and emailing anonymously – although, as you said, that does happen. It’s just that it makes it a lot easier for people to be rude when they are “alone” w/ their keyboard and don’t have to face the people they are talking to/about. Many people just don’t think before they hit “send.”

    (2) There’s also what I call the “Reality TV culture.” Just look around and soooo much of our entertainment culture today is based on people behaving badly, stirring-up crap, making mountains out of molehills, acting immature, and being “drama queens.” I remember Jerry Springer once said he thought he was doing a public service by revealing bad behavior as dysfunctional and destructive… but it doesn’t work like that. Instead you just get legions of people who want to have their own Jerry Springer moment.

    But the flip side of what you said is that you also can’t just put on your rose color glasses, sing kumbaya, and get along w/ everybody. Sometimes having integrity demands that you speak negatively of people or groups or events. Those who know me know that I am a generally positive person, that I don’t spread gossip, and that I don’t like to stir-up melodrama… therefore, I’ve found, when I do feel the need to be critical, people listen and respect my opinion more… b/c I’m not just always going around trashing folks for no good reason.

    Thanks for sharing, Pup! And don’t let the bastards grind you down.

    1. Thanks a lot Pup Emrys I really appreciate you. I hope to see you soon.

  3. I love you and so very proud and honored to be able to call you my brother.